By CRYSTAL GUILLORY

Happy New Year, HORROR-WOOD readers!

I have to admit Renfield has an interesting way of starting a new year of movie reviews. He assigned me to tackle The Devil's Hand with Robert Alda (Alan Alda's father) and I was a little taken aback by this. Is HORROR-WOOD now getting into the Texas hold-‘em poker fad like everyone else now?

Well, my preconceived images of this movie faded as I began to do a bit of research on this. Apparently it is a supernatural feature that has nothing at all to do with poker. Pity, I had this amusing image in my head of Robert Alda playing a game of poker with the Devil for the sake of winning his soul back. (Why do I have an odd feeling that my amusing image may be a little more entertaining then the actual movie?) Anyway, on with the movie and the fun facts I have uncovered about it.

For starters, I found out that this movie had a few other titles such as Devil's Doll, Live To Love and The Naked Goddess but we know it as The Devil's Hand. (I imagine there was an interesting audience attending viewings of this movie when it was titled The Naked Goddess.  To most of my readers, Robert Alda is just known for being the father of Alan Alda (of TV's MASH, but he had a long and extensive acting career on stage. Mr. Alda also had a role in the horror classic The Beast With Five Fingers.

The femme fatale in this feature, Linda Christian (a rather ironic last name considering she's playing an evil witch), has the distinction of being the first "Bond" girl in the 1954 American TV version of Casino Royale (in which the villain was played by no less than Peter Lorre!). She is also the real life sister of co-star Ariadna Welter, who was making her only American movie appearance. Ms. Welter was also in such (Mexican) cult classics such as The Brainiac, The Vampire, and The Vampire's Coffin.

One of the supporting players, Neil Hamilton, had a small role as a police commissioner on an obscure Sixties TV show called Batman. Ever heard of that one? The director, William Hole Jr., is also known for his efforts in the stinky The Ghost Of Dragstrip Hollow and later worked on the classic Seventies TV series The Bionic Woman. Last but not least, the legendary Jack Pierce (of the original Frankenstein Monster and Wolf Man fame) applied his makeup talents to the actors in this feature.

The movie has a promising start as rockabilly blares over the credits (I have a premonition that the music for the beginning credits will be one of the more entertaining things about this movie). Anyway, as this movie begins, we see this lovely woman in the park feeding ducks and this man approaches. Judging by the banter, we gather that they had a date and he was 20 minutes late for it. The girl (Donna) then begins to ask the ducks if she should marry a man (Rick) who kept her waiting that long. If you start asking animals for relationship advice then I do believe there are serious issues there.

The two then share more playful banter and they share a powerful, passionate three-second kiss. Gads, how did such a hot scene get past those censors? Donna then comments they didn’t have that much time left, since he had to go back to work, but then he drops the bombshell that he quit his job. Yep, he quit the job that was to provide a great future for he and Donna. Oh my, is he a catch or what?

Time passes and he is in bed and he has this crazy dream of this woman "dancing." (Does she really think that's sexy dancing?) Well, after that dream he feels compelled walk along until he gets to this store, and he sees a doll in the exact image of his "dream girl". So what does this genius do the next morning? He takes his fiancée to see the doll! Well, the two walk into this curious shop and they are greeted by the proprietor Francis Lamont who had just gotten off the Batphone--whoops, wrong show.

Mr. Lamont greets Rick by name and tells him that that doll (the one from the window) is ready for him. This obviously confuses Rick who claims that he has never been in that store, so Lamont goes to the back to check on that. Meanwhile, a confused Rick and Donna are having a conversation when she sees an amazing sight--a doll made in her likeness! Donna then thinks that Rick had the doll made for her and pulled this ruse to surprise her. Just then Lamont comes out of the back and shows the sales receipt to Rick, proving that he did indeed order it.

Donna is indeed curious about the dolly doppelganger but Lamont tells her that someone else requested that doll and it wasn't made for Donna. After that odd moment, the two leave the store and start walking toward the car. Just then Lamont retreats to the Batcave…ah…secret room where he sticks a pin in the Donna action figure, and Donna proceeds to double over in pain at the exact same moment. Coincidence? I think not!

The doctors are perplexed by Donna's condition so Rick does the only thing he could do, go home and go to sleep. Well, his dream woman disturbs his sleep again and begins to talk to him. He responds to this with a very sexy phrase "What do you want"? Oh, be
still, my heart! The dream gal, (whose name is Bianca Milan) tells him to get that doll and bring it to her, so guess what he'll do the next day?

To ease his conscience he visits his ailing fiancée and tells her of this plan to visit the dream woman. She has a bad feeling about this and expresses her worry that she'll lose him. Gee, considering he is going to see this fantasy woman while his fiancée is in the hospital; is that such a bad thing? Rick assures her that won't happen and sets off to the curious doll shop.

So Lamont gives him the doll and he walks over to Bianca's place, where she greets him at the door with wearing a lovely negligee and a wicked smile. Okay, I can see why he was dreaming of this gal. Well, she is pleased with her doll and has a drink with the deliveryman, Rick. Before long, the two are sharing a romantic dinner and she tells him that she used mental projection to lure him to her. (Fellows, if a gal (no matter how hot she is) began talking about such things, would you stay? Please discuss this amongst yourselves.) Bianca provides a demonstration which amazes Rick so much that they engage in passionate kissing Gee, so much for Donna being the only real woman in his life, eh?

Before things get too hot Bianca starts telling him about her religion that worships the devil god, Gamba, and that they have a meeting tonight. Apparently she has a personal rule about dating guys outside of her cult, eh? So she picks up the action figures of herself and Rick and they go off to the ceremony. As they get there Rick discovers that its the doll shop and the executioner is none other then creepy ol' Lamont himself!

The couple sits down and enjoys an entertaining floor show provided by one of the members. While enjoying the dancing, Bianca explains things about the religion, which involves a wheel of misfortune (that has swords). Apparently, members of the faith have to prove their loyalty under such a contraption. The dancing ends and a member is brought in for such a test. Well, Lamont gives the wheel a good spin and the poor victim waits to see if Gamba will let her live or die. Apparently Gamba didn't want to lose another cult
member (that would cut down the funding you know) so it allows her to live.

I don't know about you, but I would have bolted out of the door after seeing such a test, whether or not I was sitting next to a lovely gal. Rick is either very brave, or stupid, or horny (or all of the above), so he stays and gets inducted into this super secret group. Bianca is his sponsor and she will teach him the ways of this cult, as well as other things.

Soon he and Bianca are winning at the stock market and horse races and the world is at his feet. Yep, he has the world on a string and he is king of the world right now. However, reality has a way of making itself known as he receives a note from his fiancée, Donna. You remember Donna, don't you, Rick, the only real woman for you?

Meanwhile, Bianca is having drinks with Mr. Lamont as they discuss her latest conquest and the latest inductee, Rick. You see, Bianca seduces them into the cult and dumps them after a while. Hmmm apparently she isn't so eager to dump this new member yet, for he has so much to learn! As Rick is leaving his apartment, he runs across a fellow cult member who is a wee bit tipsy. Rick, being the gentleman, brings her into his apartment and tries to sober her up with coffee. The gal begins blathering about wanting to leave the cult.

What is a new member to do? Should he rat on this doubting cult member? Should he keep silent? Bianca urges Rick to rat on the gal so he arrives at Lamont's to do so, only to find the doubting Thomasina there! Yep, he passed the first test with flying colors! While Rick was at the doll shop he noticed Donna's dolly, with a pin stuck in a particularly "heartbreaking: place. Rick put two and two together and figured what was really wrong with Donna and he determines to fix it.

Later on, he goes to visit Donna, to tell her that she will get better at midnight. (Ladies, would you still be so cordial to the guy who dumped you for a dream hoochie girl? Discuss this amongst yourselves.) Donna doesn't understand but accepts what he says but she accepts it, while a mysterious new nurse is looking on.

Meanwhile, Lamont and Bianca are having a heart-to-heart talk concerning the new nurse for Donna. Bianca is afraid of losing her hold on Rick, so she proposes to...get rid of Donna! Somehow I don't think she considers Rick as just a new member anymore. Later on that night (even though it looks like day), Rick arrives at the shop and looks for Donna's doll.

He finds it and pulls the pin out of its body and puts it back in its case--the mission is accomplished. Rick is about to leave when he sees Lamont arriving, so he goes to the secret ceremony area looking for a back door. Unfortunately, he activates the wheel of misfortune which got Lamont's attention, but he escapes before he gets caught.

The next morning Donna is on the phone with Rick, chatting about how she is feeling better. Gee, now he can dump her with a clear conscience now! However, the new nurse is listening to the discussion, and that can't be good.

Sometime later Rick arrives at Bianca's, who greets him in a va-va-voom lacy dress. She informs him that there is a meeting that they will have to go to tonight, but first she wants a kiss. He does kiss her, calling her a "beautiful, evil witch". Yeah, that would so turn me on too. The two have a discussion where she wants to know if he would ever leave her--after all, he did call his ex fiancée.

Well, that smooth romantic fool Rick eased her fears by telling her that if he thought he was going to lose her, he would kill her. She responds to his passionate threat with a passionate kiss. (Ladies, would a death threat from your man turn you on like that? Please discuss this amongst yourselves.)

After getting re-dressed, the two attend the mandatory cult meeting. As Lamont gets up to the pulpit you can tell he's miffed, and he is. He tells the congregation that there is a traitor amongst them, and that traitor will die at midnight. At that moment, we notice a portly gentleman getting fidgety and nervous…could this be the traitor?

Meanwhile, Rick is about as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs, wondering if Lamont found out how he saved Donna. At that moment, Lamont is back in the shop preparing for the ceremony, and viewing all the dolls of the members. We then see him grab a figure of the nervous gentleman. In another part of town, the real nervous gentleman is in his car driving away. Alas, he doesn't get too far, for he is stricken and his car (an obvious toy) runs off the road. Gee, that happened at the same time Lamont stuck pins in that doll! Lamont throws the doll on the barbie…ah… flames and the nervous guy's car (this time a real car) bursts into flames at that moment.

Sometime later, Lamont pages the sponsor of the late nervous fellow, to find out if he knew that the late member was a reporter! Yes, Lamont was a tad upset that the reporter was going to the press with a not-so-nice story about their cult. Gee, it is hard to get warm fuzzies about a group that practices human sacrifice, you know. The sponsor denies knowing that the late member was a reporter, but Lamont doesn't believe him. The sponsor then becomes as nervous as the late fellow when Lamont asks him to pull his doll off of the shelf…uh-oh!

Bianca gets a call from the new nurse who tells her that Rick picked up Donna from the hospital. Uh-oh, that means that beautiful, evil witch had better move quickly if she wants to keep her man!

Sometime later, there is the full moon ceremony, and the attendees watch another thrilling dance number at the beginning of the meeting.  It is a special night, where one is called upon to prove loyalty and doubts are erased for yet another month. Well, more doubts start to fill Rick's head when he sees Donna on the sacrificial altar!

Rick comes clean about helping Donna and seeing her, but claims that he didn't mean any harm to Gamba. Lamont gives him a chance to prove himself loyal to Gamba, by letting him spin the wheel
of misfortune. So Rick hesitantly starts to spin the wheel, and nervously watches it descend on Donna.

Rick has an outburst and calls the cult members "murderers" and rescues Donna. However, in doing so, he knocks over a lamp and a fire blazes through the building. In fact, the place is burning up even faster then a building at the end of a Roger Corman "Poe" picture. For some odd reason, Bianca is grabbing Rick's doll rather than heading out the door.

Donna and Rick escape the blaze, thinking they are safe now. However as we can see from Bianca's last words, it is not over yet.

Huh? Did the creators of this little opus intend on creating a sequel?  I mean, what would have happened in a sequel? Could it be that Donna decides to have a knock-down, drag-out cat fight with that witch, Bianca, over Rick? Or maybe both gals realize that this jobless loser isn't worth the time of day and form their own cult? Perhaps for the sake of sanity, we should be grateful that no such sequel was made.