In the mid-Sixties, cult director Jess Franco evidently reckoned it was time to do another horror flick in the Orloff vein he had mined before...but he did so with a number of twists.  The "mad doctor" would be a secondary character only, the murder tool would be a woman, not a man, and the victims of that robotic killer would be men, not women.  In addition, Franco created a distaff villain, one that so dominated the flick that its title really should have been...

By DAVE DUGGINS

"The Diabolical Dr. Z … and his fiendish creation--Miss Death!"

Jess Franco again this month, boils and ghouls…and this 1965 Euro-horror film really should have been called Daughter Of Dr. Z, since it’s more her story than his. In fact the alternate title, Miss Muerte, is even more appropriate.

However you slice it, fright fans, it’s still cheese … but cheese can taste very good indeed. This particular dish finds director Franco revisiting old themes, presenting a story in many ways similar to his previous Dr. Orloff’s Monster (reviewed in these very pages last December) while keeping things fresh through improved visual composition, new editing techniques and powerful cinematography. As with Dr. Orloff’s Monster, I popped Dr. Z in the DVD player expecting some laughs. I soon discovered that where Franco’s concerned, you always get a little something extra for your money.

Let’s dive in, shall we?

Hans Bergen, convicted serial killer, escapes from a prison that’s really more like the classic Hammer film dungeons; you half-expect to see the poor guy chained to the wall. The Diabolical Dr. Zimmer learns of this from his lovely (not to mention terminally twisted) daughter, Irma. By some strange coincidence, the killer ends up on the Zimmer estate ground (the serendipitous convenience of this plot point is never explained; quite frankly, after another ten minutes or so, you don’t even care).

Dr. Zimmer, being a man of pure science, sees this as an opportunity to conduct a little human beta testing to confirm his new theory about the nature of good and evil. The first test involves sticking a knitting needle all the way through his subject’s head! It’s a wonder the guy didn’t wake up before the thing passed through his cerebrum.

Sticking stuff into people’s skulls is a proud Italian horror tradition. My personal favorite of these moments is in Lucio Fulci’s Gates Of Hell. A teenaged girl’s father ties her unwanted suitor to a drill press and--well, does what you do with a drill press. To the kid’s head.

Yuck.

Anyway, Irma Zimmer wheels a wheelchair-bound Dr. Z into the scientific symposium. Dr. Z has something to say--apparently nothing anyone’s happy about hearing. He certainly has an interesting philosophy: that good and evil are physiological, controlled by motor centers in the brain that can be neutralized or manipulated.

The symposium gives him very bad vibes about this. Dr. Z, overcome with shock and stress at all the bad press he’s getting, dies on the spot. The strain of a whole roomful of disbelievers, I guess. Irma is in attendance--probably just so they can have the obligatory "promise to continue my good work" speech. We get it--and the film’s plot--in a nutshell. Irma carries on her father’s work--with a little side trip along the way to dish out some horribly poetic revenge.

Irma’s friend, Dr. Philippe Brighthouse, pays her a visit. He was at the symposium, and did not agree with the general consensus. He didn’t disagree either, but it’s a start. One friend is better than none.

Philippe and Irma hang out at a hepcat jazz club, watching a freaky performer called Miss Death. Dressed in a slinky black fishnet, she slides languorously along the floor across a painted spider web and then makes out with a mannequin while concealing her face beneath a skull mask. Twisted. The mask is on a stick. Straight out of Poe. Franco is an absolute master at stealing good stuff from movies and books. Borrowing Poe seems an inspired choice.

Irma evolves a plan. Driving in the country one afternoon, she sets things in motion when she sees an attractive blond hitchhiker. What’s the one thing you never do in a horror movie? Pick up a hitchhiker! Unless she’s a hot blonde, of course. And you happen to be in need of a body (hot or otherwise) for your experiment.

Irma runs her first victim over with the car--somewhat risky if you want to preserve the brain tissue, but she gets lucky and doesn’t crunch the girl’s pretty head.

Then we see it’s not a victim she’s after. It’s someone who looks like her, so she can (get this) fake her own death and carry out her revenge in secrecy! Hahahahha!

In the process, she burns her own face badly, so she may join the proud ranks of the Disfigured Evil Scientists – an illustrious company including the most grotesquely disfigured scientist of all, Dr. Phibes.

The housekeeper tries to bail, but Irma controls Bergen, and has him choke her unconscious. After her own acutely unpleasant needle treatment, she comes to and assists as Irma performs really nasty skin graft surgery on her own face. It is effective, as two minutes later she’s normal again. Well, almost normal.

In a classic example of The Evil Plan Revealed Through Monologue (or "monologuing" for short, a term you’ll be familiar with if you’ve seen The Incredibles) we learn that Irma plans to find a beautiful temptress to work on all the other guys in the scientific congress. Take ‘em all out, Black Widow style. Her choice? Why, Miss Death, of course. Irma goes to see the avant-garde actress, whose real name is Nadya. Irma looks very cool in her "disguise," which is essentially a lot of black, a dark wig and a pair of oh-so-happenin’ kitty cat glasses.

Irma tricks Nadya into a theater, where Bergen is waiting. Miss Death, meet Mister Death. Bergen disables her, but it’s Irma who delivers the decisive blow. This girl is seriously lacking conscience.

Following this, we get a close look at the three-needle treatment--one in the head, two in the spine. Ouch. Remember those spinal tap scenes from The Exorcist? Yeah. Not fun.

Nadya wakes up, not in the best of moods. Irma takes her on in a bizarre catfight that ends when Irma holds her at bay with a stick and a chair, like a lion tamer. Irma posts the usual Horror Movie Statement of Intent. You are my slave, you will do my bidding, yada, yada, yada.

Irma then writes her death list on a mirror. Obviously she is not too concerned with evidence of intent. Obviously she does not understand the difference--as the law sees it--between killing someone in a fit of rage and spending two weeks planning to kill someone. One of these two carries a heavier prison term. I’ll leave it to you to decide which.

Miss Death gets on the train with Dr. Vicas, the first of Dr. Z’s naysayers. European filmmakers love trains almost as much as they love Gothic castles, probably because there are so many trains in Europe.

Nadya sits down across from Vicas. All the lights in the dining car dim except the ones that emphasize her eyes. She and Vicas share this fascinating conversation.

Nadya: "What are you wondering?"
Vicas: "If there’s life. If this train is real. Are you really there?"
Nadya: "Touch my hand. Am I a dream?"
Vicas: "I hope not."

The train whistle blows, shaking everyone out of their reverie, and she’s gone. Crazy. Apparently she has the ability to just get up and walk out of the room without anybody noticing. I can think of a couple of times in the very recent past where that would have been really handy...

Poor Vicas pursues Nadya with drugged avidity, junkie after the fix. Too bad for him--he finds her. Poor guy might as well shoot up rat poison. He’s all done. She opens a couple of major arteries with her super-long fingernails and then pitches his body out the window of the train. Not a very nice way to treat a date.

Bergen is waiting where Vicas lands, to make sure he’s dead. Irma looks on, veiled, dispassionate.

Miss Death freaks out a little, having actually killed for the first time. The little theater act with the mannequin is over. These are real people. Irma tries her best to calm Nadya.

Philippe goes by his lovely Miss Death’s place. She’s not there. Hasn’t been there for a couple of days.

Inspector Green and Inspector Tanner show up after a fisherman finds Irma’s car in the lake. Philippe goes to see them. Finds out about Vacas. Turns out Vacas was poisoned. His wounds are filled with curare.

The next victim--Dr. Maroni--walks into town to have a coffee. Love those narrow, windy Spanish streets. Franco has a field day with long traveling shots and dolly shots, weird angles, looking up at thousand-year-old village buildings that seem ready to tumble onto the street.

Of course Miss Death is there at the bar, waiting for him. Unnerved, Dr. Maroni heads back. Miss Death follows. In a gloomy alley, he lets her pass.

At home, Maroni’s wife hears a noise. Bergen is breaking in. There’s a really weird shot of Bergen climbing in the window, low-angle, close and intense. Franco is at his best when shooting subjects in close up, and this shot is no exception. Bergen kills the guy’s wife before he even makes it home. Rough. Miss Death pursues him through the foggy streets. He’s trapped between Emma and Bergen. Maroni tries for the only way out. A disguised Bergen tricks Maroni into a car and gasses him.

Philippe, in discussing possibilities with the inspectors, hits upon the very thing that is actually happening. "Say, maybe Nadya is being used for someone else’s fell purposes." I think that’s uncanny. Eerie, even, considering that he’d never seen Dr. Z’s research.

Dr. Kallman--the last name on the list--is headed home after a day of rabbit hunting – but there’s a body in the road! Our third victim is taken in by this ridiculous ruse. He stuffs her in the back of his Volkswagen Beetle and off we go. No good deed goes unpunished.

Kallman takes the girl back to his place. Bergen and Irma are already there, hatching the next phase of their evil plot. Kallman opens his door expecting police and gets a knife to the gut for his trouble.

Having exacted revenge, Irma orders Bergen to kill Nadya, but Philippe steps in and hooks Bergen up with a righteous ass whipping involving a lot of medieval arms. Philippe runs into the lab, just smart enough to get trapped on the same robot-rack everybody else has already personally experienced. But will Nadya actually kill him?

No, of course not--she fights Irma, resulting in a disappointingly short cat fight, interrupted by a bullet from Inspector Tanner’s gun--a plot turn which never should have been allowed to happen. Secondary characters don’t take down the main villain. Very bad juju. Philippe runs to his ladylove, embraces her … but is Nadya really all right? She still has those sharp fingernails. Will she use them against Philippe? Is she good? Is she evil?

And the most relevant question: did Joe Esterhaz steal his third act conclusion for Basic Instinct from The Diabolical Dr. Z? Enquiring minds want to know...

Thanks, Dave.  The Diabolical Dr. Z is relatively early Euro-horror and Euro-sleaze with lots of cheese, and, for those who enjoy that, it's sure to please.  For those who are not Franco fetishists, this also is likely one of the last of his films that can stand on its own without requiring the usual allowances of Franco apologists--and it is a pretty wild flick in its own right--so we can prescribe Dr. Z to classic horror fans in general.

Article copyright © Dave Duggins

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