By CRYSTAL GUILLORY

Hi again HORROR-WOOD readers!  Wow, is it back to school time already? Back to the
reading, ‘riting, and ‘ritmatic?

Judging by the gleeful appearance of the parents I would say so. So now it’s time to do our back-to-school checklist and see what we need for the upcoming semester. Okay, I got the pencils, the paper, the computer ink and cartridges, the mega supply of coffee, and the silver bullets and snacks for the study time.

Some of you are beginning to shake your heads at one item on this list. After all, is it really a good idea for a student to eat junk food? Ah, you are referring to the silver bullets on the list and you are wondering what it could mean. (You are wondering, aren't you?)

You got me. It’s a reference to the movie entitled (well, one of its many titles anyway) Werewolf In A Girl's Dormitory. This movie also sported titles such as Bei Vollmond Mord, I Married A Werewolf, Lycanthropus, and The Ghoul In School (the flick’s title song, by the way) with different releases. Someone once talked about the more titles a movie has, the weirder the movie is. I am beginning to think they are right.

This movie was filmed in Austria and Italy and the original language was Italian, therefore explaining the out-of-sync talking. The trailers for this movie talk about needing nerves of iron for this movie, and that it was filmed in nerve-a-rama (whatever that is). I personally think one needs a fistful of NoDoz rather then nerves of iron to watch this flick.

The movie starts up with that song "The Ghoul In School" as the credits roll by. Too bad there was not more to the song for I was enjoying it. (Any chance of the Dead Elvi doing a cover of it?) We are then shown a shot of an Italian villa, where this ultra blonde gentleman is being let in by the Peter Lorre look-alike. I have to wonder if there was some sort of cloning project for he does look uncannily like the great horror actor, but I digress.

The new fellow, Olcott (Carl Schell, Maximilian's brother), walks through the school grounds, passing a group of very conservatively dressed girls doing exercises (wouldn't that be a little too warm?). One girl makes a flirty remark causing the rest to giggle, except for Mary who faints dead away. The girls giggle again and bring Mary to the nurse. Gee, for being shut in a reform school, these girls giggle a lot.

As the girls carry Mary to the infirmary, Dr. Olcott is going to meet the director. He meets the chilly Leonor who informs him that Mr. Swift (the director of the school) is waiting for him. With a warm reception like that, how could he refuse? Olcott is then in Swift's office, and they talk about his current job. However, in any job interview, the past job has got to be mentioned and we find out Olcott was a doctor whose practice ended with a scandalous incident which involved a court case. Swift hired him to teach at the recommendation of a mutual friend of theirs. Hmmm, just goes to show you that it is often not what you know but who you know.

Nighttime falls, and the howls of a wolf break the silence. It also breaks the sleep of Priscilla (Barbara Lass, the first wife of Roman Polanski) and Sandy but it does not disturb the other girls in the dorm. Gee, how convenient. Well, those two see Mary sneaking out of the infirmary for some reason. Golly, could it be a date?

Mary climbs over the gate and is into the woods where she meets up with the Peter Lorre clone Walter (Luciano Pigozzi) who has been taking money so that she and someone else could have this romp in the woods. Mary goes on to her date, but not before threatening to rat on Walter if he did not go away. Mary walks on and then she meets up with her paramour, the smoldering hunk of the village, Sir Alfred Whitehead.

(Now, far be it from me to make comments about who people date, but sheesh! I know some gals can be desperate but oh, man...once again I digress.)

Sir Alfred wants a little action, but Mary tells him that he will get no lovin’ until she is released. He stammers like a high school boy trying to get to second base with a cheerleader when he explains to her that he could not do that, for she was sentenced by the court. She threatens to reveal their cozy little relationship and ruin him.

Whitehead then asks about the letters he wrote her, and the expert blackmailer proclaims that
she burned them. (Yeah, I am scratching my head at that bit of brilliance, too). So, Whitehead walks off with his tail between his legs and Mary walks to the school by herself. No worries about stumbling in the dark for she has the big bright full moon to light her
way. Do I really have to tell you what is going to happen next?

Yep, werewolf meets girl, werewolf chases girl, and werewolf attacks girl! However, judging by the sounds of the moans she made, it makes me wonder if she is enjoying this a little too much.

Sir Alfred is coming to his home that night, sweating and out of breath. Gee, that was a hell of a time to do some jogging, wasn’t it? He pours himself a drink and begins to relax, and he begins to look for his wife, Sheena. Sheena gives him a moment's scare by grabbing him by the shoulder, and then we see that the years out of the jungle have not been so kind to her.

The two share terse words about Mary, who they know has been attacked and the former jungle queen believes her hubby to be the attacker. Sheena is horrified for this will cause a huge scandal. She gets even angrier to find out that Sir Alfred wrote a threatening letter to Mary just that very day. Gee, can we say motive here?

The scene changes to the next day, the students are milling around wondering if they could see the body. (I mean, ewwwwww! There’s plenty of ghouls in that school!) They are told that they can't see the body, but receiving the mail consoles Priscilla. She notices a letter for Mary (darn post office, the mail is always coming too late!)

Meanwhile the police are checking out Mary's body, which is not a pretty sight. The coroner rules it a wolf attack, but Olcott does not think so. They bring in Sir Alfred, who suspiciously reacts to seeing the corpse, and claims that he just saw her around the school. Oh yeah good job not acting like a suspect Mr. Whitehead. After he leaves the building, Whitehead spies Priscilla and decides that she is going to be his next Saturday night thang. Gee, not since Hamlet (his mother, remember) has a character rebounded so quickly. Priscilla has to hold down her lunch as the old boy leers at her.

Priscilla goes on to her dorm and reads Mary's letter. Gee, just because someone has died, does that really give you the right to read their mail? She discovers a typewritten note with a threat to Mary and a request for some letters. Priscilla realizes she has
something important, so she takes the letter and puts it in her unlocked bureau. She then begins to open Mary's locked bureau drawer so that she could get a look at the letters. Unfortunately she is busted by Mr. Olcott at that moment and she has to go on to class.

However, she makes her way to Swift's office to tell him about the threatening letter. Priscilla explains to Swift about the contents of that letter, all while someone is eavesdropping on that conversation. Swift then calls for the Inspector, leaving Priscilla ample time to check out personnel records on Olcott. She then discovers Olcott lost his medical license due to the death of a young girl. To top it all off, he was tried for murder but released due to insufficient evidence. Hmm I wonder if Johnny Cochrane was his lawyer?

The Inspector and Swift are with Priscilla to look for the letter, but it is not there! Cue ominous music here, please. The Inspector walks off in a huff, accusing Priscilla of pulling a hoax.

Well, this makes Priscilla all the more determined to figure out what is going on, so she tries to pry open Mary's bureau. Just then Sandy comes along and she is able to open the drawer. Hmmm, I can guess why Sandy is in reform school, can't you? Well what do you know--the letters are in the bureau (why didn't the police take those?) after all. The author of the letters is still a mystery.

However, Priscilla has figured out who the killer is! Gee, could it have been Col. Mustard with the revolver in the library?

So, later we see Priscilla chatting with Walter, trying to figure out what Mary was doing out that night. Walter is trying to do some pimping, telling her of an easy way to make money. Priscilla is insulted and storms off. However, that night she makes an appearance at Walter's home, willing to take him up on that offer. After all, she could discover what did happen to Mary that fateful night.

Walter and Priscilla walk on through the woods, totally oblivious to someone or something following them. Then they get to this house in the woods, which is the Blair Witch house! (Okay, okay, it’s not, but so help me it looks like it!) Priscilla slowly goes up to the house, opens the door, and the ever-helpful Walter gives her a shove in the door. It is just then that Priscilla meets the former queen of the jungle with two of her subjects, snarling dogs. (Gee, I guess that was to replace the two tigers she used to have in the jungle.

Sheena offers money to Priscilla to stay away from her husband, but Priscilla then accuses Whitehead of the murder. This sends Sheena off into a tizzy, for her husband may fool around but he is not "an assassin." (Okay, so Mary was a government type going around incognito?)

Priscilla and Sheena have a duel of threats with Priscilla threatening to go to the police and Sheena threatening to make dog chow out of her. A stalemate is reached when it is discovered that Priscilla has the letters after all. So the two decide to stay and talk while being observed by the Maltese Falcon (okay, okay, its not but it does look like it). Sheena pours out her heart, telling Priscilla about how on that night she was following her husband and saw Mary being attacked. It appears that Sheena recognized the attacker, but is too afraid of scandal to name the guilty party.

Priscilla is starting to think that Sheena did the attack using her dogs. After all, the queen of the jungle should command animals, right? Priscilla takes her leave and goes walking off in the dark woods alone.

Not so alone, for this late at night she meets up with the handsome teacher Dr. Olcott. Dr. Olcott, who is planting traps for wolves (oh, PETA is really gonna love this guy!) that night and is surprised to see Priscilla. The two flirt for a bit (is this really an ethical thing for a teacher to do?) and have a clinch when a wolf howls into the distance. Discovering that it a wolf caught in one of his traps, he leaves Priscilla (to walk by herself in the woods) while he tends to the animal. Oh, yeah, how gallant of him to leave her by herself.

Meanwhile Sheena goes back to her lovely home and proceeds to get to ready to go to sleep. However, there is a sporting soul that helps her go into an eternal sleep, thanks to a little chloroform and a hypodermic needle.

At the same time, Priscilla is walking back to the school, but a ghoulish creature with fangs intercepts her. Yep--the werewolf! Finally! Priscilla is attacked and all looks lost for her until Walter's dog, "Wolf," attacks the werewolf. The werewolf runs away with his
tail between his legs as the dog takes a bite out of his hand.

The town appears at Sheena's funeral (what, Tarzan didn't show up, too?) and watch Sir Alfred behave as the grieving widower. The townspeople talk about Priscilla's attack and that the attacker must have an injured hand. Hmmm, could a little mob hysteria be brewing here?

Later on, Walter is having a frosty brew in the town pub, then Whitehead joins him. It appears that Whitehead really wants those letters and he wants Walter to get them at any cost. It is just then that one of the bar patrons notice Walter's bad hand—therefore starting a mob.  Whitehead shows his true colors (yellow streak down the back) as he walks away from Walter at that moment. At that point, I didn’t know if Whitehead was the werewolf of this movie, but he was certainly a weasel!

Walter is freaking out, so he pulls out his switchblade, which soon causes another patron to pull his out. Just when I was expecting to hear "When you’re a Jet," Swift comes in and breaks up the mob. Meanwhile, Priscilla is recovering in the infirmary where Dr. Olcott visits her. Now, should these two have such a tender moment like this? Just then, Sandy breaks the romantic moment and begins to kid around with Olcott and touching his arm. This makes Olcott wince in pain, as if it is injured. Hmmm.

Sandy then goes to tattle on Olcott for having a hurt arm, and Swift calls him to his office.
Swift then begins to talk to Olcott about what he thinks is going on and who is doing the attacking. With a straight face he explains that it was a lycanthrope that has done the attacks. Strangely enough, Swift seems to be interested in hearing why Olcott thinks so. This was conveniently added in so that we can hear about why Olcott is there.

It appears that he worked in this mental hospital where this female patient was accused of murder, and she did not remember doing it. Needless to say, he got involved with this case, and it does not hurt that it was an attractive female. He confesses that he fell in love with the girl over time (okay, isn’t that a slight ethical no-no?) and wanted to help her recover.

Apparently this girl was a lycanthrope who would lose control each full moon (every man's dream) and have a beast-like face (uh oh, two bagger). Olcott was on the way to discover a cure for her, only to have tragic results. He has continued his studies and the studies involve the pituitary gland and his plan to extract it from one of the local wolves (do I really need to make a PETA comment here?). Later on in the discussion, Swift tells Olcott to stop the experiments, but Olcott wants to find a cure in order to help the attacker. My how noble of him.

That night we view the dormitory while the girls are asleep. Sorry fellows, no flimsy nightwear here, it is granny gowns all the way! Walter is sneaking around, trying to find the letters amongst all those girls. Just then he spies what he wants…a key to the bureau, which is around Sandy's neck. (What did you think I was gonna say?) He tries to remove the key but that wakes up Sandy (Duh!) and the two struggle.

Then he looks through the bureau which wakes up the girls who chase him out of there (cue Benny Hill music, please) with letters in hand. He runs up the bell tower (Sanctuary! Sanctuary!) but due to clumsiness, falls to his death. Swift quickly (get it?) gets the letters while chaos in ensuing. Some may think that the big bad werewolf is gone, but Olcott does not think it was Walter. He explains that Walter had a dog and dogs just don't like wolves! (Plot point.)

Some time later Olcott and Priscilla are climbing over the fence and walking hand in hand. The two are talking very warmly to each other as they walk to Whitehead's home (am I the only one who has a problem with this relationship here?).

Whitehead had just made it home after being interrogated and browbeaten by Swift and is packing up to leave. Olcott and Priscilla meet him there and talk to him kindly about telling the whole story. This was too much for Whitehead to take so he shoots himself—ironic, since a little earlier he claimed that he did not have the courage to do so.

The scene changes to the woods, where a wolf is being captured and sedated. Then the creature is brought to a lab and someone cuts out the gland in a hasty operation. We then see that this mysterious vet is none other than the ice queen herself…Leonor.

After the operation the werewolf stumbles into the lab, and she chains him to the wall. Being the sporting gal she is, she gave him enough chain length for him to be able to claw at her. She then goes over to the table and gets the gland mixture out and puts it into a needle. She proceeds to inject the werewolf, which is difficult because he is trying to attack her. Alas, the formula somewhat works, for the creature changes back to--Mr. Swift!

Swift and the former ice queen lock in a tender embrace (all the while he is still chained) and have a heart to heart talk. This is where we find out that it was Leonor that killed Sheena that night in order to protect Swift. The two then talk about the second injection for the cure. However a wolf that let itself out of the not-so-well-locked cage interrupts that plan. The wolf proceeds to make kibbles and bits out of Leonor while the horrified Swift looks on. Leonor is amazing, for in the middle of dying she was able to give a key to Swift and free him.

The next day the girls are talking about what happened the night before when Swift walks in. He explains that their teacher Leonor won't be in for she left the school and won't be returning. The next thing we see is the funeral for Walter and his dog, Wolf, begins to bark constantly. This really wigs out Swift and he backs away from the animal. Hmmm, shouldn't Swift had known Walter had a dog?

Later on, Wolf finds Priscilla and begins to tug at her skirt to follow him into the woods. Priscilla goes along with it--after all, Timmy could be in a well or something. Imagine her surprise when Wolf digs up Walter in a shallow grave! She freaks out and is running back to the school when she meets up with Swift. She hysterically tells him what she saw in the woods, but soon she is to have bigger problems on her hands for Swift just changed to a werewolf.

Almost on cue, Olcott hears the scream and comes to Priscilla's rescue. Then Olcott and the werewolf fight, but the werewolf nearly beats him only to have Priscilla recover and have another round with him. Just then Olcott shoots, and it is a good shot for the werewolf is hit (we assume silver bullets were used).

Just then we see the transformation back to the human form…and they see it is Swift. Swift then gives a deathbed confession about Mary and the other things he has done and he dies. We expect Olcott and Priscilla to have a kiss at the finish, but the movie ends with a shot of the water fountain and the credits.