By CRYSTAL GUILLORY

Greetings again, dear readers (yes, I am talking to both of you!). It's time for another analysis--better make that autopsy--on a cult horror film Renfield assigned to me.

First, however, I’d like to clear up some things he mentioned in his little note at the end of last month's article. For one thing, I don't live in a doublewide trailer... oh, pulleeeze! He knows good and well I live in a fashionable crypt in the suburbs of New Orleans--after all, he has sent enough items to me (and not all of them were ticking). Another thing to clear up is that the recipe was not for fried crawdads (as he called it) and grits but rather crawfish smothered grits.

The movie I am tackling in this article is the 1959 cult classic The Alligator People, which is set in my home state of Louisiana. This film stars the lovely Beverly Garland, the legendary Lon Chaney, Jr., and the makeup artistry of Dick Smith and Ben Nye in this swampy piece of celluloid. Of course, this movie did get some things wrong which I am going to have to correct, so you may learn something before we're done (hey, hey, hey).

First, allow me to talk about the lead actress Beverly Garland for a few sentences. As most women my age did, I first became aware of this lady when she played the love interest who married Steve Douglas and became the step mom to his "three sons" on TV. (Yes, I am giving away my age here). As time went on, I saw her in other television shows such as Remington Steele, Scarecrow and Mrs. King, Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman and Port Charles. I also began to notice her in cult classics such as the original Not Of This Earth and It Conquered The World, movies that showed her inner strength. In fact that is what some fans (including this one) have noticed and admired about her, that many of the characters she portrays are brave women in the face of odd circumstances.

The other big name in this is the legendary Lon Chaney, Jr., who really doesn't need much of an introduction in this Webzine! Here is a man who starred as the tortured Lawrence Talbot in the classic horror piece The Wolf Man, as well repeating the performance in several other Universal Monster movies.

He also played Count Alucard (go ahead and spell the name backwards) in Son Of Dracula, played the ever-creepy Kharis, the mummy, in The Mummy's Tomb and the Frankenstein monster in Ghost Of Frankenstein. I didn't even mention his work as Lennie in the film adaptation of John Steinbeck’s Of Mice And Men, or his role in the classic High Noon. Chaney did a fine job in many of the roles he had.

In this movie, Chaney plays the "Cajun" Manon, who has serious issues with the alligators in the swamp. Okay, this is nothing against Mr. Chaney, but I have a hard time believing he was a Cajun in this movie. This has nothing to do with his acting, but rather his accent or, rather, lack of one. Otherwise, I thought he was convincing as a swamp dweller who had an unfortunate run-in with an alligator. He could have left afterwards but stayed, for he was truly "hooked" on the bayou.

I really am not blaming Chaney for his less-than- accurate portrayal of a Cajun, for not much was known of them outside of Louisiana when the movie was made. To non-Louisiana residents in the Fifties, the Cajuns must have sounded as foreign as a pygmy tribe in the Amazon jungle. Thanks to National Geographic, PBS, Travel Channel, and the Internet, the typical person can be more aware of this fascinating culture of my home state.

Websites such as "The Encyclopedia of Cajun Culture" provide a good introduction to this culture tapped upon in this movie.This site too provides some helpful insight on the Cajun culture. By the way, if you think we all sound like Scarlett O' Hara down here, check out this site. Do pardon the slight diversion into Cajun territory but I wanted the both of you to be well informed.

Ah, well, I should get back to talking about the other big names of this movie, Ben Nye and Dick Smith. To those who do not immediately recognize the names, allow me to enlighten you that these are renowned makeup artists. Years after this movie, Ben Nye "monkeyed" around as the makeup artist for the original Planet Of The Apes film and Dick Smith created the horrific visage of the corrupt Dorian Gray for The Picture Of Dorian Gray, as well as the scary soap opera Dark Shadows.

Some of you are wondering why I am devoting space in this article to makeup artists, and if you are wondering that, then you are reading the wrong Webzine! (Just kidding--don't leave!) It is the makeup work on this movie that deserves as much praise as the acting leads themselves, for the look of the alligator people is impressive!

By now you are likely wondering when am I going to start talking about the plot of this movie, so here it goes.

The movie opens at Webley Sanitarium, where a doctor is paying a call on another doctor that afternoon. Oddly enough, this doesn't concern a golf game but a hypnosis experiment the host is conducting and he wants the visiting doctor to witness it. This involves the lovely nurse, Jane Marvin, who volunteered for the hypnotic research with the good doctor.

Okay, I can understand going the extra mile to get in good with your employer, but isn't this a bit much? Anyway, our good doctor injects her with a serum (why is it I can watch a monster do damage, but I turn my head when someone is getting an injection?) and tells her to count backwards.  Soon enough, Jane is in a hypnotic state--except that we find out that her name is not really Jane!

The woman begins to reveal that her name is really Joyce Webster who is not really sure that she is, or was married. I assure you readers that you are not the only ones puzzled by that odd statement. for the visiting doctor must have felt the same way.

Jane/Joyce continues on, talking about how she and her husband finally married after waiting so long. We are then showed a flashback as Joyce and her new husband, Paul Webster, snuggle on the train in their private compartment. Through their conversation, we discover that Paul had been through a horrendous accident that apparently damaged him a great deal, but there are no signs of it. In fact he looks good as new—strange, isn't it?

We then have one of those moments where something big and important is about to be revealed, but the obligatory interruption knocks at the door. The obligatory interruption is supplied by the kindly porter who is bringing the newlyweds their telegrams, which the happy couple tear into gleefully. Now, you'd think Paul would tell his wife that all-important news at this moment, but the telegrams must have easily distracted him.

So now the audience becomes voyeurs as we watch the newlyweds hungrily, lustfully tear off…the ends of the telegrams. (Got your hopes up didn't I?) However, judging by the dramatic music and the look on Paul's face, I wager that its not the Publishing Clearinghouse sweepstakes announcing that he won. Paul leaves his wife, desperate to look for a phone but there is none on the train. His only choice is to quickly call when the
train is making its uber-quick mail stop. However, due to his fumbling for change, he misses the train and leaves his poor wife on their honeymoon.

Gotta hand it to Joyce on how she handles such a tragic situation in this movie. Yes there are some women who would have searched high and low for their lost husband as she did while other gals might have called up their lawyer for a divorce. Our Joyce did search high and low for her Paul, hiring detectives and whoever she could to find him but to no avail.
However a clue came when she was sorting through his things and found his fraternity pin which led her to the school he graduated from, Louisiana State University.

Okay, why she didn't know he was a LSU graduate? After all wouldn't he have had oodles and oodles of purple green and gold stuff (that's LSU colors, folks)? I mean, wouldn't he have a bumper sticker proclaiming "Geaux (pronounced "go") Tigers" on his car? What kind of LSU graduate is he, anyway? (It appears that I have digressed once again, for which I apologize.)

Anyway, Joyce goes to LSU and finds out the address that Paul used during his school years. She finds out that he lived in a plantation called "The Cypresses" (yeah, you know how everyone down south lives in an old plantation) in a place called Bayou Landing, which was in the middle of Louisiana swamp country (which, according to Hollywood, is most of Louisiana). So she goes to this lonely spot in the middle of Cajun country, feeling very out of place. In fact, she feels as almost as out of place as that box of radioactive cobalt sitting on the porch. (!) That box of radioactive material must look comfy somehow because she sat on it!

Not too long after, Manon (Lon Chaney) is surprised to see what came with the package! Joyce talks to Manon and manages to get a lift to the Cypresses. (Uh, hello, what are you thinking, Joyce? Do you really think you should accept a ride from someone with a hook for a hand?) Along the way, Joyce sees the neighborhood, amazed at the scenery.  It is at this point we find out that our friend Manon has serious issues with alligators, just after he tries to run over one, of course. (Gee, did the writer of this movie kinda fashion this character off of Peter Pan's Captain Hook?)

So Joyce arrives at The Cypresses and gets a dose of southern inhospitality, thanks to the lady of the plantation, Mrs. Hawthorne. Mrs. Hawthorne is about to throw her out into the swamp but she is reminded that there will be not transportation ‘til tomorrow. So, in
the iciest voice possible, Mrs. Hawthorne offers a place to stay. Gee, with an offer like that I think I would rather sleep with the snakes and gators! Mrs. Hawthorne then lays down the rules of the house--no parties, no booze, and one must stay in their room ‘til
they leave. Gee, I hope there is a chamber pot in that room.

Just then, the evening entertainment could be heard. Manon was drunkenly shooting (and missing, I gather) the gators in the pond. Mrs. Hawthorne orders her trusty manservant, Tobey, to stop Manon, for he’s disturbing her guest. Tobey gently tries to persuade Manon to stop shooting gators that night, but Manon turns a deaf ear and keeps going until he runs out of ammo.

Meanwhile, Joyce is getting room service and she tries to pump information from her. All Joyce gets is double talk, and the room key. Just then, Mrs. Hawthorne gets a phone call from a Dr. Sinclair, who she has a cryptic conversation with which causes Mrs. Hawthorne to leave her estate and go over to his place.

Soon we see this bandaged up fellow giving (who later is referred to as number 6) some orderlies a case of swamp whoop-ass. Eventually the patient is subdued and Dr. Sinclair goes off to meet up with Mrs. Hawthorne. The two have another cryptic conversation about the girl (they mean Joyce) and how they need time for the experiments. Okay readers, this is getting curiouser and curiouser.

Just then, our gal hears someone play the piano, so she goes to investigate. She opens the door to the room and sees this man playing the piano. The fellow must have hit a wrong note for he fled the room before she could get a better look at him! Joyce notices his muddy footprints and the wet keys, which strike her odd since it hasn't rained recently. Ah, has she forgotten she's in a swamp?

Meanwhile, our mysterious fellow flags down Mrs. Hawthorne car, and chides her for having Joyce at the house. Is it me or is that the long-lost Paul? Wow, he has a wicked bad skin condition--he consult a dermatologist about.

It is the next morning, and Joyce is doing what anyone of us would do in a creepy plantation, pace on the porch ‘til someone shows up. Just then Dr. Sinclair shows up in his swamp buggy and has a chat with Joyce (or is it to find out what she knows?). Joyce decides to stay and begins to rummage through Mrs. Hawthorne's things to find out about Paul. Mrs. Hawthorne confronts Joyce about her rudeness, and Joyce confronts Mrs. Hawthorne right back about the secrets in that house. Mrs. Hawthorne is shocked and
hurt at such an accusation, for she is really Paul's mother (cue the dramatic revelation music here, please)! You see, she married again and kept the second late husband's last name.

Gee, no wonder why she was so mean to Joyce, for she was behaving in typical mother-in-law fashion! The two women then have a good cry and share a pint of Godiva ice cream (okay okay, they really didn't do that).

So, later, we see this mysterious figure walk inside of the house and we hear him call for his mother, but he finds Joyce instead. This is a surprise to him, and he runs back into the swamp on that rainy night. Joyce, being the devoted wife she is, runs right after him in her high heels through that icky swamp. She is not as sure footed as her husband through that swamp and soon enough she stumbles through that bog. To her horror, she is about to be attacked by a snake, but Manon drunkenly comes to her rescue. (I think I rather
take my chances with the snake).

Manon brings her back to his swinging bachelor swamp shack so that she can get out of the rain. Manon then demonstrates his perfect hosting skills by offering Joyce some sips of the fine vintage "Éclat Lune" (translate that folks, you'll get it). He then suggests that she should slip out of her wet clothes, but he doesn't even turn around to give her privacy. (Joyce, he is trying to give you booze and trying to get you out of your clothes in his shack. I think leaving now would be an excellent idea!)

He then holds up a blanket so that she could wrap it around her, but she didn't count on being trapped in his drunken embrace. He then rambles about how she owes him "something" since he saved her from that snake. (Isn't that like some guys? Whether it's payback for dinner or a rescue, some creeps just want something.) Our Joyce is far too ladylike to knee him in a sensitive area, so she screams in his face, prompting him to knock her out! (You know, right now I am thinking Manon is the monster of this movie.)

 Well, Manon is about to collect on his payment from the unconscious Joyce when her husband Paul arrives. Do I really need to tell you that Paul breaks open a huge can of whoop-ass on Manon? Paul then rescues his lovely wife from the monster's shack and brings her back to his family home.

By now it has become apparent that Joyce needs to hear the truth about Paul and his change. So it is decided that Dr. Sinclair has a chat with Joyce about all the changes in Paul. Paul, in the meanwhile, has a talk with Dr. Sinclair about treatment with gamma rays. Dr. Sinclair wants to wait and do more studies, for who know what problems could arise? Paul won't hear of it, he wants to undergo this treatment to restore his looks.

Joyce is invited to Dr. Sinclair's place and observes an experiment on an alligator. (I know PETA would not be too happy!) After that demonstration, he lectures about the differences between alligators and humans to Joyce, who wonders along with us where this is going. Well, to make a long lecture short, Dr. Sinclair once noticed how certain reptiles can grow new limbs if they are removed. Sinclair then thought it would be a cool idea to take some enzymes from the reptile and somehow enable that to be a healing enzyme in a human body. As luck would have it there was some horribly injured soldiers who needed his treatments, with Paul being the worst of the lot.

Yes Paul Webster was barely alive, but Dr. Sinclair can rebuild him for he has the technology to make him faster…stronger…oops sorry. However, the patients got way more then they bargained for when they started mutating to alligator form. So Dr. Sinclair had to send a telegram to Paul to let him know that, according to a blood test. he was going to change, too.

As you can imagine, Joyce is shocked by this confession of the scientist. After all, she expected Paul to change after the wedding, but not like that!

Dr. Sinclair then informs Joyce about the experimental treatment with gamma rays he will do with Paul that night, and she will be there. Joyce then waits for Paul, who shows up and immediately hides his face. The two have a poignant moment talking before he is about to undergo the radiation treatment that could possibly cure him or kill him. I have to admit this is a heartbreaking scene to watch between these two, with Joyce keeping a brave face knowing the dangers involved with the radiation. Paul is then told that the radiation has to be of a certain amount, for too little or too much could be harmful! (Duh, like he wouldn't realize that?)

Don't you hate it, readers, when a drunken lout interrupts your dinner party or science experiment? Yep, Manon reappears at the lab to get back at Paul, who is strapped to the table. That drunken idiot caused the machine to go haywire, causing Paul to become more reptilian. Paul becomes a walking gator. Needless to say, Paul is peeved and is about to kick some so-called Cajun butt…however a loose wire takes care of the job. Talk about being laid low by a right hook.

Egad, things are going downhill real fast now! Mrs. Hawthorne faints dead away at seeing her son's change. The house catches fire as a result of the experiment growing haywire! Meanwhile poor Joyce is chasing her beloved Paul, still thinking their marriage can still work! (Okay, so what if she has to move to the swamp and they are of different species?)

Oddly enough Paul then starts to wrestle other alligators while his wife looks on. Gee, could he be doing this as a result of self-loathing? Well, obviously he does have serious mental issues for he willingly walks into the quick sand and sinks.

We are now brought back to the present with the two doctors listening to Joyce’s fantastic story. It is apparent that she has repressed this horrific memory (kinda like I had to after sitting through Monster From Green Hell) and forged a new identity for herself in order to go on with life. The doctors decide that it is okay to let her keep her delusion--after all a good nurse and guinea pig is hard to find! I hope those two doctors will never be on my HMO plan!

Oh, man, was this a depressing ending! I haven't cried this much at the end of a movie since I saw Far From Heaven. It’s so sad that she lost the love of her life in such a horrific way. On the bright side, she did get some adorable shoes and purses out of the deal!