You know, some folks insist that horror movies aren't beneficial to growing minds. Yet, no movie genre celebrates the possibilities of science more than a classic monster flick. Want to learn more? Then just enroll in...
By CRYSTAL GUILLORY It is the first week of class, and after all the back to school parties, barbeques and keggers you finally make it to class. On the first day you attend Science 101, which is taught by Professor Hapschitt who is the toughest science professor of all time. At this first class, he is giving the course requirements and, to your horror, you discover that a science project is required. On top of that terror, it is responsible for most of the grade! A queasy feeling fills your stomach as you make plans to visit your advisor to drop this class. However don't lose hope, for there are plenty of scientific role models in horror movies that you can get your science project ideas from. (Note: Of course, at your own risk.) In other words: Movie Mad Science 101! The first one on our list is the "grandfather" of mad scientists, Rotwang of the classic silent movie, Metropolis. Rotwang is the forerunner of the mad genius with the wild hair and even wilder look. In the 2020's (when this film takes place), Rotwang is a mad genius who is obsessed with an former lover by the name of Hel. She is so part of his life he creates a robot in her image.
It could take a lot of work, but to create a robotrix like this may be just the ticket to score an "A". Not only would she make an excellent project, but could also make an excellent date for homecoming. The next one on our list is the infamous Doctor Frankenstein, the one who tampered with the laws of nature by reanimating dead flesh. The experiment was almost successful, that is, until the little problem of the abnormal brain came to be. Alas, that one little mistake kind of soured the Doctor's reputation in scientific circles. However, it would be a fascinating thing to recreate this experiment. It would be wise to know where all the parts came from, especially the brain! After all, nothing can ruin a GPA than having your experiment run amuck on campus. If the Professor is not impressed by your creation, perhaps the sports deparment might.
Doctor Griffin (of the original, classic The Invisible Man film) is another one to look at...in a manner of speaking. This scientist created a a formula for invisibility that worked very well. However there was a teeny tiny flaw; it made him insane! It might be worthwhile to look at the formula and figure out what caused the insanity while becoming invisible. If that can be done, think of what an impressive project that could be! However you may want to wrap yourself in bandages lest the Professor mark you absent for a number of days.
Doctor Jekyll is another fascinating scientist to consider for inspiration. This man did an experiment which had him drink one formula that turned him into a beast (AKA Mr. Hyde) and another that returned him to normal. Yes, I know that sounds like what happens during a
frat party but this was an important experiment of its time. However, Mr Hyde caused so
much damage that this test was not fondly thought of. This would be a fascinating project
to do, but risky at the same time. You could be expelled (or jailed) for all the
Dr. Momus Alexander
Morgus is mainly known for his work as a "horror host" in New Orleans and
some other areas. However what is not realized is that he took the gig in order to expose
the mass audiences This genius has invented things such as skin glue, the Internet (despite what the Pentagon and Al Gore say), the Morgussal perpetual cardio-machine (guaranteed to make you live 200 years), the Morgusso incizo machine (a jigsaw for shaky handed surgeons) and the Instant People Machine. The instant people machine was a crucial plot point in Dr Morgus' film debut The Wacky World of Dr Morgus, of which the good doctor is the first horror host/scientist to have a movie made for him. There are several other inventions and experiments of this great scientific mind for you to use as a project and blow away the minds of the "bonebrains of the university" (as Dr Morgus would say). Dr. Gangrene is a scientist who resides and works on the mysterious Shackle Island who also moonlights as a "horror host." This scientist educates the masses while working on a scheme to take over the world.
Unfortunately his plans have been...well...somewhat
less than successful. However, his experiments on genetic engineering (resulting in
Krokus: the killer frog) and producing a Prehistoric Egg Nog from dinosaur eggs, among
other things, make for fascinating research for any budding scientist. Just make sure your
version of Krokus does not give the Professor a case of the Dr. Milo Thaddeus Pinkerton III is a different kind of mad scientist who uses music to promote his evil...ahhh...scientific lessons. Hosting live lectures disguised as "concerts" he and his cohorts , Dr A. Pentatonic and Filbert W. Snodgrass (junior scientist in training), enslave...ah... instruct new minds in the COG way of thinking.
Dr Pinkerton is a mastermind in evil science,
having achieved a Ph.D. in it These towering (but mad) scientific figures are meant to give you the inspiration to do your best this semester. Don't let the "bonebrains of the university" (as Dr Morgus is one to say) get to you. Stay in that science class and do an experiment that will knock the socks (or something else) off your Professor. Have a great semester! Ummm...if you are questioned by the authorities, you never heard of me... (Crystal Guillory is vice-president of the New Orleans Worst Film Festival to be held on June 10, 2000. Click here to read more about it. You can contact Crystal personally here.) Thanks, Crystal, for the great advice. By the way, Professor Hapschitt was looking for you...he mentioned something about the giant gerbil getting loose... Article copyright © Crystal Guillory |
