It's one thing to be a classic horror fan and a reader of HORROR-WOOD and even do a spot of writing for Video Watchdog magazine--it's quite another thing to help make a creature feature film and host your own horror film show.  Such a "thing" is Shane M. Dallman and he invites you to join him as he gives us the ten cent tour (no refunds) of his...

By SHANE M. DALLMANN

It's funny, but before I came across the "horror host" article in HORROR-WOOD, I was considering writing my own article as a primer of sorts. I was under the opinion that I was just about the only one left doing what I was doing--and it's hardly surprising that many other local/public access horror hosts across the country spent some time feeling similarly unique... and alone. What a pleasant surprise to find the article--and to link up with the Horror Host Underground as a result!

But even though it's by no means up to me to remind the readers of HORROR-WOOD about the significance of "horror host" shows, I've still been invited to give a personal account of my own contribution to the legacy. And by "my own," of course, I refer to the work of a number of dedicated individuals, each of whom will receive their due...

The name of the show is Remo D.'s Manor Of Mayhem, and an explanation of the title will provide the requisite history.

First of all, who is "Remo D.?" I am. Okay, but why is Shane M. Dallmann (you might know him from HORROR-WOOD's letters column or his Video Watchdog reviews) using that name? Glad you asked. You've heard of Remo Williams, right? Fred Ward played him in the movie of that name, but the character sprang from "The Destroyer," a still-running paperback action series known for its satire and its mythology rather than for any guns-a-blazin' violence.

People could usually count on me to have an installment or two on my person...and when I made the move from Indiana to California, I encouraged the use of the nickname, eager to lose the company of those who still thought it was clever to make my acquaintance by whining "Shane... come back, Shane..." after a certain classic movie Western starring Alan Ladd (right, like I'd never heard that one before). So Remo it was.

And the "D.?" Short for Dallmann, of course, but it became part of the official name when I signed up to perform at a campus variety show known as "B.J.'s Fun House." As I already knew our host, signing in was a mere formality, so I simply jotted my last initial down rather than spell the name out, but at the end of my act (horror film-inspired ranting and raving and a load of pasta-guts being ripped out from under my shirt), B.J. announced "That was 'Remo D.,' ladies and gentlemen." And so it was.

"Mayhem?" As the dictionary defines it, it's not just any old violence--it must involve the loss of a limb. And the "Remo D." character's trademark has always been a hook-hand. By the following year, "B.J.'s Funhouse" had been retired, and I opted to keep the format alive--only now I would be the emcee of "Remo D.'s Mayhem." I didn't think about it much at the time, but this was my first real stab at horror-hosting, as a full feature film was often presented at the end of the live acts.

Ah, yes--horror hosting. As a fan of the darkest of genres for as long as I can remember (my earliest childhood movie memory involves watching The Incredible Shrinking Man with my father and being wowed by the giant spider), how could I not be drawn to such a format? I have vague memories of watching The Ghoul and the original Svengoolie through badly-received UHF signals in Valparaiso, Indiana (Chicago TV), but it was the debut of Rich Koz's Son Of Svengoolie that hit me where I lived.

Ninth grade. Officially high school. Horror fan. Weird. You know the drill. But what's this? Someone who exists to present this material! To have fun with it! For heaven's sake, to win local Emmys with it! Stick to your (metaphorical) guns, horror fan--you aren't alone, and you aren't wrong, either!

Northern California. Turn of the century. Where are the horror hosts? It's great that the Son of Svengoolie has survived his first cancellation and returned to the tube as "Svengoolie," and it's even greater that my sister lives in Chicago and can sometimes send me his episodes, but who else is doing it? Well, you know what they say about wanting something done right...

You need a public access cable system to start with, case closed. Luckily, Monterey County has one. AMP--Access Monterey Peninsula--is open to the entire county, even if its signal only reaches the city of Monterey itself at this time--we hope this will change soon. Still, limited exposure is quite a bit better than none at all, so it's time to take the plunge. My dedicated cohort is Gregg Galdo, a long-time friend and video trader who was just as excited about the prospect of such a show as I was.

At this time, I've just come off the shooting of the locally-produced (not an AMP project) feature film Flesh Eaters, which I co-wrote and co-directed with producer/photographer Christo Roppolo. (You can read my article about the production of this film here.) That, of course, is a story in itself, but as Flesh Eaters is presented as an offering of Labcoat Productions, our new "creature feature" show would also air under the Labcoat banner.

Two weeks of camera classes and an editing session later, we're ready to start. Gregg prefers to spend his time behind the scenes, manning the camera and editing the weekly episodes (but the stage bug will get him soon, never fear). The movies themselves come from... my closet. No major studio titles, no currently available-on-video offerings if we can help it--we must, of course, stick to the public domain and/or unlicensed titles (and put a carefully-worded disclaimer on each and every episode just in case we make a mistake and are asked to "cease and desist"--but that hasn't happened yet).

But what about a set? There's the AMP studio, of course (waiting lists and open hours very difficult to match to the schedules of a couple of family guys like us). But if you're doing something worth doing, you'd be surprised at the breaks you might catch...

We advertise on AMP for people interested in helping with our project. We get one serious bite, and it's the guy we just saw doing an instructional broadcast on television lighting--Dave Deacon. Dave's directing a local theatre production and he asks me to stop by, catch the dress rehearsal of "The Fat-Thumb of the Opry" (one of the farcical melodramas that defines the Barbary Coast Theater) and talk to him about our proposed show there.

Fair trade--Dave's happy to help with the show... and I wind up substituting as the Fat-Thumb himself for a couple of weekends! My Barbary Coast Theater debut went very nicely (I'm no stranger to either local theatre or melodrama), and soon I'm also playing Snake Diamond in "Stupid Is As Stupid Does."

Wait a minute--what does this have to do with anything? Weren't you looking for a set for your show? Absolutely--and I found it right there. Harry and June Fromm of the Barbary Coast Theater found my proposal quite intriguing--and all of a sudden, we've got a stage, costumes, props, and even some semi-regular actors!

All there for the love of it (which, of course, is all any of us are receiving for the show at this time). Therefore, each episode of the show begins: "Labcoat Productions... in association with the Barbary Coast Theater... presents... Remo D.'s Manor Of Mayhem."

Gregg's voice intones an appropriate poem from C.S. Lewis:

"Make your choice, adventurous stranger,
Ring the bell, and bide the danger.
Or wonder, till it drives you mad,
What would have happened if you had!"

Hook-handed Remo D. lets out a laugh, and it's "Welcome to the Manor!" Our movies are broken into four segments (no commercials, naturally). After the introduction, which announces the movie and sets up the theme for our own weekly business, we return with a straight-out "trivia" segment--pure, solid information about the movie the viewers are watching and the people who made it. In this day and age, as tempting as it often is, we resist making fun of the movies.

Having fun with them is fine, but we feel an obligation to remind new viewers of just why we love the films we do--hopefully to instill a sense of curiosity about these cinematic obscurities, not to mention respect for their creators (our first season, for example, opened and closed with contributions from Paul Naschy, one of our favorites). Then it's the "comedy" segment.

Dave Deacon has become "Montag," my troglodyte of a sidekick--little does the audience realize (while he's in character) that this is the same guy who serves as our technical director and comes equipped with an avalanche of props and effects. Harry Fromm occasionally pops up as his Barbary Coast Theater emcee character, "The Green Weenie" (among other things), and such local players as Vivian Thompson and Sean Cassidy (now in Texas--please come back, guy, we need you!) show up as special guest chameleons (not even they necessarily know who they'll be playing when they show up for the shoots).

And Gregg? Yep, he's been coaxed out from behind the camera several times--most notably as superhero sidekick Kato! Sometimes we play off the movie (Sean and Vivian were the High Priest and Priestess of Seatopia for Godzilla Vs. Megalon, while Gregg was "Dr. Lorca" of Mad Doctor Of Blood Island), sometimes we resurrect classic ad campaigns (remember John Austin Frazier, driven insane by the "Orgy of the Living Dead" triple bill? He's been on the show...), and sometimes we take a not-so-gentle poke at our own local culture (one of our most beloved segments is the interview with "John Steinbeck").

Our last break-in usually involves an interview (sometimes legitimate local interest, usually more comedy), and then we wrap up at the end of the feature with a hint at thrills to come...

As I write this, selected episodes of MANOR are scheduled to hit the Horror Host Underground outlets--perhaps there's one near you? You might see the original version of The Flesh Eaters (and meet some of the cast and crew of the Labcoat remake); you might encounter Montag the Mummy (this one's a howler, even if I do say so myself)... and yes, the John Steinbeck interview's in the mix somewhere!

My ceaseless thanks to the amazing, industrious Gregg Galdo, the dedicated, versatile Dave Deacon and the generous, professional Harry and June Fromm (if you're ever in the Monterey County area, you really ought to check out a Barbary Coast show) and to our various and sundry cast members. And remember...

"Now that you have entered,
Fate shall follow through.
Even should you ne'er return,
The madness stays with you!"

Thanks, Shane!  It's always great to see a horror host on the air and even greater when we know the horror host personally.  Long may your "Manor" be open--and I would suggest that you ask the maid to tidy up things in there a bit...and tell Montag he oughta wash that robe once in a while...

Article copyright Shane M. Dallmann

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