By CRYSTAL GUILLORY

It's a shame Doc Seward had to stop giving those fabulous happy pills to my editor, for he's making me feel the pain this month.

To be honest, it’s my own undoing for daring to brag about winters in my new home in the Sunshine State when others are freezing. But couldn't he have retained a sense of humor about that? To be honest, it really hasn't been all that warm here; in fact I had to break out my super warm fleece shroud since it was rather chilly. Who knew the 50's could be so cold?

Anyway, Renfield got a teeny bit annoyed about my bragging last month and decided to make me pay. I was a little nervous about what it was going to be since I had it relatively easy so far. The anxious waiting ended when I got my assignment in the mail, and it was 1960’s The Four Skulls Of Jonathan Drake.

I have to admit the only feeling I had was confusion, since I never really heard of this movie before. It’s quite possible I might have seen it on the late, late show as a wee ghoul but I don't recall it now. Wonder if that's a bad sign?

So I did what I have always done with each film, research it to enable me to talk endlessly about trivial points, using up much paragraph space…let me rephrase that. I research the films to give my readers useful background information that could impress friends, family, and colleagues at dinner parties and such.

The most recognizable name in the credits is that of the director, Edward L. Cahn, who has been at the helm of many genre films. Some of my regular readers will remember that he directed the teens-against- aliens classic, Invasion Of The Saucer Men, that I covered some time ago. He also directed "B" classics such as The She Creature, Zombies Of Mora Tau, Dragstrip Girl, and It ! The Terror from Beyond Space.

The film was scripted by Orville H. Hampton who worked as the dialogue supervisor on Mesa Of Lost Women (1953). The actor who plays the hard boiled Lt. Rowan, Grant Richards, provided the voiceover for the radio series Gangbusters, which were based on actual criminal cases. Many criminals were caught, thanks to people listening to the descriptions of wanted criminals over the airwaves in the 1930's, sort of a precursor to America's Most Wanted.

Henry Daniell, who played the mysterious Dr. Zurich in this movie, made a career of playing villains on the screen for years. In fact he played one of literature's  most notorious villains, Professor Moriarty, in The Woman In Green (1945). The actor who plays the title character, Jonathan Drake, Eduard Franz, played Dr. Stern in the 1951 sci-fi horror thriller, The Thing From Another World.

Last but not least, the most interesting bit of trivia belongs to the lovely Valerie French, who was cast as Drake's lovely daughter Alison. She was married to Michael Pertwee, who was the writer of the Danger Man/Secret Agent TV series from the Sixties. Not to mention the fact that she had the third Doctor Who, Jon Pertwee, as her brother in law during those years! Another interesting fact about Ms. French was that she played in a key role in the "Living in Harmony" episode of the innovative The Prisoner series.

Now that I have given you lots of needless…ah…that is,  interesting trivia about the cast and crew of this film, I’m going to give you…yet more trivia! In all seriousness, I should give a little background information on the subject of this movie—headhunters and headshrinkers. No, I'm not talking about the recruiters that scout out talent for the colleges nor am I talking about Dr. Joyce Brothers or Dr. Phil here.

I am going to venture into Discovery Channel territory to talk about tsantsas (shrunken heads) and the Jivaro tribe that make them. Or I can show you this link that will provide much of the information you would want. The most fascinating things about this tribe are their love for beer and the practice of head shrinking.

Since this article obviously doesn't really concern the beer drinking, I will show you interesting links concerning shrunken heads. For example did you know there was a shrunken head trade at one point? The interest even spread to Christie's posh auction house which had a tsanta for bidding once. There's even a how to guide on how a shrunken head is created, but I really wouldn't advise trying it unless you have an excellent lawyer.

Seriously if you want more interesting pictures and fun facts do check out this Website. The gallery alone should provide hours worth of fun if you are into that sort of thing.

By now you've probably thought I had forgotten all about the movie—no chance!

When the film opens, we see the line "The evil that men do lives after them," which gives an ominous hint to the theme of the movie. We see the title character hold a shrunken head and ponder the words, all the while having a hallucination involving three skulls. He's obviously a tad freaked out, which concerns his lovely daughter, Alison, to no end. She begins to talk about a message from his brother about a tsanta which has confused her.

Unfortunately, her father isn't that confused, for h recognizes that as the term for the shrunken head (which he is still holding) and makes plans to see his brother, Kenneth.

Sometime later, Kenneth Drake is enjoying a quiet evening at home when he gets the message concerning his brother's visit. Unfortunately, the quiet evening at home is rudely interrupted by this tall fellow with the oddest body modification I have ever seen. Yeah, I'm used to pierced lips but threads? Anyway, this fellow pricks Drake's brother with something which causes him to drop to the ground and the odd fellow brings out a sharp bamboo object when…the butler walks in.

Hours later, a hard-boiled detective by the name of Lt. Jeff Rowan is assigned the case which seems rather open and shut. After all, according to Dr. Bradford (the family doctor), the Drake men have all died of a heart attack at 60 years old. Of course the Rowan asks
questions concerning the shrunken head which the creepy Dr Zurich is all too willing to talk about. Rowant leaves, thinking that this is solved but we know he'll return.

Soon its’ night and we see that tall creepy character sneak into the family parlor (doesn't this family have any security?) and open the casket. As we can see by that huge bamboo knife, he is there to collect something which he couldn't get earlier. Time passes and Mr. Drake is there but is saddened by the sight of the black wreath on the door. He had to wonder why his brother left the Christmas wreath out so long that it turned black! As soon as he walked into the building and noticed the people and the huge coffin in the parlor, he knew what was going on--his brother was rude enough to die before his visit!

Drake was so upset he wanted to open to coffin and have a few last words with his brother, only to have a slight shock when he saw that his brother was missing his head! How could the mortician miss a little thing like that?

In the meanwhile, we see that the missing head has become the property of the creepy Dr. Zurich, who begins the gruesome process of turning it into a shrunken head. I have to admit these scenes are amazingly graphic for the time and I have to wonder how this was allowed back then. Assisting him with this ghastly deed is the mute Zutai, the huge pierced fellow who has been doing the dirty work. After doing an amount of cooking that could rival any of the Iron Chefs, Drake's head is shrunk and the skull is ready to be given back to the family.

Rowan has been busily investigating the case since it involves a corpse mutilation which is a big "no-no" in the law books. He investigates Mr. Drake as well as spending some moments investigating his daughter (but not in the way he would have wanted). Hours later, Jonathan is having a heart-to-heart talk with his daughter about "the curse," wishing he had told her more about it. Shouldn't he have had this talk when she was 13? Oops, sorry--wrong curse!

The two have a wonderful bonding moment in the family crypt as he shows her the graves of her ancestors while giving the horrific details that they were buried without their heads. We then discover the story behind the curse--a member of Capt. Drake's ship was kidnapped and killed by a warrior tribe. Drake's ancestor proclaimed war on the tribe by killing every man and male child in the village except for the witch doctor—which proved to be a dumb move on his part.

This witch doctor was a wee bit tiffed about the massacre and placed a curse on the Drake family. To cap off this wonderful bit of family time he showed her the place that held two of the skulls of her ancestors with no clue that the third one will be there soon.

The only thing to cap off family time in the crypt is a visit from Rowan who got to hear about the strange story of the curse. He thinks it is such nonsense and doesn't notice the odd stranger that is climbing the trellis to get to Drake's upstairs bedroom while carrying a basket. Yep, its "Drake" season for Zutai.  Needless to say, the sight of the mute native causes fear in Drake so he can't scream for help and he is immediately stuck with Zutai's poison stick. Zutai is about to do his gruesome task of head collecting but he is surprised by the sudden arrival of the butler. He runs out of the room, thinking Drake is going to be a dead duck pretty soon.

Fortunately, the crime fighting team of Alison and Rowan arrive, with Rowan hot on the perp's trail. However gun didn't stop the fellow, only slowed him down for a second, but he kept on running. Later he investigates the crime, getting a bit of the poison for the crime lab to analyze so they can find an antidote. The antidote is found and Drake seems to be
making a recovery even though he is still having those pesky hallucinations of skulls.

Sometime later, Rowan takes his partner over to the crypt to check out the skulls and look for clues, only to discover there was a new skull in the crypt. Using items from the CSI home kit, they dusted the skulls for finger prints, discovering rather bizarre marks. I mean, how many people have a skull imprinted in their fingerprint patterns?

A little investigating into Drake's books answers that question--some tribal warriors were made immortal, thanks to a witch doctor's potion and a little stitching around the mouth. Just like Zutai...another odd thing about those warriors, they had a skull imprinted into the fingerprints to prove they were members of that cult. Rowan begins to balk at all of this nonsense, thinking there is a logical explanation to all of this. Why of course, isn't it every day someone's head is removed and the skull is placed back in some "secret" family crypt?

Dr Zurich, in the meanwhile, is a little upset that he didn't get Drake's skull, so he decides to use a little magic to invade his dreams. So with him dressed in witch doctor drag and Zutai on the drums, Zurich uses bizarre performance art to drive Drake crazy. That bit of weirdness did cause a relapse in poor Jonathan, which was so bad he had to be sent to the hospital surrounded, by nice young men in clean white coats. Dr Bradford had been thinking about this case and how Zurich might be able to provide some answers so he planned on visiting him.

In the meanwhile, Rowan and Alison are exploring the grounds when they find Zutai's sandal and the bullet that hit him. Rowan took those to the lab and discovered that the sandal was made from human skin! I have a feeling that was not bought from Payless! We are also told that the bullet has a little bit of blood and a huge amount of this rare poison that could have been used to embalm a body.

Bradford is having a nice chat with Zurich about the odd matter of the Drake brothers. Bradford has the opinion that it wasn't natural causes but rather some sort of poison that is used by primitive tribes in the Amazon. Oh, this hit a little too close to home for Zurich. Amazingly enough, he kept his cool while Bradford lost his head--literally.

Hours later, Rowan drops by Zurich's home to ask him some questions concerning the odd fluids that were on the bullet. Zurich tells him some fascinating things but Rowan's eyes are attracted to a huge red spot on the rug. Zurich is probably wishing he had Zutail
shampoo the rug but there was no time. He quickly lies and says that it was dye but Rowan knows better. Rowan then calls his partner to do a check on Zurich who, in the meanwhile, is planning on collecting that head from Drake.

Alas, he discovers that Drake isn't there but has been sent to the hospital, so he begins to cook a fiendish scheme which involves kidnapping the lovely Alison.  Rowan sneaks into Zurich's place with the idea of gathering more clues but he got more then he bargained for when he went to the basement! Yeah, this must have been his first case involving such weirdness as witch doctors and head hunters. I wonder what Grissom and his CSI team could have done with this case?

Anyway, he calls into the station but is told to report over there pronto for he is in some sort of trouble. When he arrives he is told that there is no Emile Zurich, he died about 200 years ago. (Wow, this could be a case for Kolchak or Mulder!) Unfortunately, Jonathan has bigger thoughts on his mind, for Zurich called him at the hospital telling him to bring his head or his daughter gets it. Of course, he is told not to tell anyone about this so he tells it all to his butler, who tells it to Rowan when he arrives later!

Meanwhile, the lovely Allison is tied up and made to watch the icky process of the head shrinking, while listening to Zurich drone on about why he did this. It appears that Zurich was killed during that expedition to the Amazon years ago but his head was attached to a dead native's body so it can exact this horrific revenge. When he collects the four heads he can finally find the peace he has been denied for so long. Gee, some collectors can be  so obsessive!

At that moment, Jonathan arrives and tells Zurich to let Alison go or he'll shoot himself, ruining the skull and setting his soul free. Oh, never threaten a collector with damaging the item!

Rowan then arrives and has an exciting struggle with Zutai *yawn* and then flips him onto the flame which causes him to have a spontaneous combustion. Just then we see Zurich trying to get away on foot, giving us viewers a very thrilling (excuse me while I get a cup
of coffee) chase, indeed. Alas, Zurich is stabbed with the poison stick and Drake does the honor of removing the European head from the Indian body, ending the curse. Oddly enough a skull appears out of nowhere which becomes the fourth skull of Jonathan Drake.

That was an odd movie and I'm so glad it’s over. Good thing I had the few cups of coffee and Mountain Dew, otherwise I might have slept through some of this.

I do have to wonder about some things in the script. I know the Indian probably had that odd mix of the poison and blood but shouldn't it have rejected Zurich's head? How could Zurich have been undetected for so long? Will Rowan be able to return to his hard boiled beat or quit the police force to be an investigator of the dark arts? Should I really be thinking all of these questions?

I'm going to stop thinking of that movie now, since I am going to open a package from Renfield. I am pleased that he got over his little tiff and sent me a nice little gift for my birthday…what…it’s a shrunken head!