Although Halloween has come and gone (sigh!), when Renfield read the following account of a real, honest-to-badness Halloween Wedding with all the frills and chills, he knew his faithful readers would want to read all about it, too. So, in the midst of the Yuletide season, here's a look back at another holiday...and a great idea for those boils and ghouls who wish to wed HORROR-WOOD style...
BY K. A. Laity
(K. A. Laity's first publication was as winner of the Clive Barker "Lord of Illusions" Short Story Contest (judged by Clive himself!). Since then she has had stories and reviews published in such places as DreamForge, Rictus and Weird Times. Currently she is working on a novel-length fairy tale and a Ph.D. in Medieval Studies (including a dissertation on Old English, Old Irish and Old Norse hagiography) at the University of Connecticut and publishes the bi-monthly zine Wombat's World. You may visit her wenbsite at http://www.lib.uconn.edu/~klaity/)
Well, if you're thinking of having a Halloween wedding, my advice is:
DO IT!
Over and over people kept telling us that this was the most fun wedding they had ever been to (okay, sure, they're our friends and want to be nice, but even my MOTHER was raving likewise). Enough people came in costumes that no one felt odd about it, though by no means did everyone dress up (we were serious about being casual). We had everything from Dr. Who to the requisite vampire, my friend Cheryl with very realistic fangs that made more than one person look askance.
The bride wore black (lace) and the groom
wore a turn of the century frock coat ("Abe Lincoln!"
said some, "Undertaker!" said others). Of course, I had
to carry calla lilies ("such a strange flower, suitable for
any occasion" as native Connecticut Katharine Hepburn has
said) and behind us were the dancing skeleton bride and groom
which my brother's boyfriend Brian found somewhere in
Brooklyn--they fascinated everyone with their motion-sensitive
antics (yes, we turned them off during the ceremony). Our
processional provoked laughter (the cha cha version of the
"Theme from The
Magnificent Seven") and our recessional too (Shonen Knife's cover of "On Top of the World"). My attendant was my little brother (who also made our rings and Lapp wedding cup) and Gene's best man was his brother John. Our JP Dot (no word on whether she had siblings Wakko and Yakko) had us face the crowd and encouraged everyone to take pictures (which they did, as well as throwing plastic snakes and flies). I cried--Gene couldn't get my ring on all the way--Dot asked if I took Gene as my loving wife (causing my friends Lisa and Rachel to comment that it was the nicest lesbian wedding they'd been to) and a few dozen candles flickered around the room for the spooky atmosphere, casting mood-lighting on the abundant Halloween decorations, mostly provided by friends Joey and Cheryl.
Food
was the requested gift and it came in abundance and wonderful
variety (with enough leftovers to take on the honeymoon!). The
Jell-O Brain Mold (Thanks Shaun and Daniel!) made a great
centerpiece on its white platter, flanked by the rubber heart,
several eyeballs and numerous plastic flies. The cake, made by
another friend Kelli, was faboo! Orange swirled fondant frosting,
boo tape, candy corn and pumpkins, chocolate spiders and of
course, on top -- Darth Vader and the Bride of Frankenstein.
There was food enough for the living and the dead, not to mention drinks galore (more leftovers!). Much dancing ensued (fun to watch the moms bopping to "Smells Like Teen Spirit") and plenty of people stayed late and whisked through clean up. Wedding night was sweetened with my friend Betsy's special mead (traditional for the 30 days of drinking the honey beverage) and we had a borrowed house on the Cape for the days following.
Of course being a horror-themed hitching, we did get some fabulous horror-type gifts, including a number of wonderful Mexican Day of the Dead figures, in fact two sets of brides and grooms. Wonderful grim reaper candles from my brother-in-law and his wife. And from my sweetie himself a Buffy tie-in novel -- Halloween Rain -- and as a big surprise: a painting by Steve Bissette! It's a Dia de los Muertos couple eating from a hideously gruesome cake with another skully couple on top and the traditional "Hasta que la muerte los separare" written in icing. It's grisly and beautiful and I love them both for it. Fortunately Steve sent along a color photocopy as the painting arrived the day of the wedding (hey, that's early for Steve) so we didn't have time to frame it. It will be scanned in for the web page too so you'll be able to see it in all its Technicolor glory.
Thanks to all my pals on the Horror (mailing list) who wished us well. The virtual wedding book will be on a web page soon!
Article (c) K. A. Laity
Thanks, Katy! We're looking forward to seeing that web page! That's one wedding Renfield wishes he could have attended...
